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Mentoring children
By Kim Haskins
Children's mentors are sometimes seen as role models. Often, they support children who come from troubled family backgrounds, who don't do well at school or who are considered at risk of offending.
Mentors provide emotional guidance and a sense of continuity and stability, which may be lacking in the lives of their mentees. Through successful mentoring, constructive friendships are borne, in which mentees learn to trust and value their mentor. Meanwhile, they learn to develop essential social skills, recognise their own strengths, and grow in confidence.
Who makes a good mentor?
Volunteers who want to mentor a child must be enthusiastic, trustworthy, and able to motivate others. It's important to be friendly and approachable, while able to provide a patient, listening ear and balanced advice when necessary. Showing a strong interest in the mentee's life and interests will also help to build up a valuable mentoring relationship.
As a mentor, you may find that the child opens up to you in a way that they feel unable to with others. To maintain this level of trust, it's essential that you're able to be consistent and able to meet with your mentee on a regular basis at agreed times.
How successful is mentoring?
Research by the University of Luton Vauxhall Centre for the Study of Crime has shown that mentoring children and young people leads to a reduction in offending behaviour. At one location, as much as 77% of young offenders did not re-offend once they had been assigned a mentor. What's more, many children who are mentored are found to become less disruptive at school and more able to re-engage with mainstream education.
Mentoring experiences
Each mentoring experience varies greatly from the next, and much will depend on the personality and needs of the mentee. Here's what two volunteer mentors have to say about their experiences:
Craig Bletsoe in Bedfordshire, is a mentor with CSV's Bedfordshire Mentors and Peers project. He mentors an 11 year-old boy at risk of offending. Craig has first-hand experience of the dangers of going down the wrong path, which helps him with his mentoring. He hopes that his volunteering will help him land his first job in the care sector.
"Volunteering as a mentor is important to me because I've had my own problems to face. I've had difficulties with my family, my brother has depression and my father is a heavy drinker. Before I changed schools I got into a lot of fights as well. Luckily, I had my Mum to support me, but that's not the case for everyone so I think it is important to help.
"I meet with my mentee each week for a few hours. We spend the time together at the park playing basketball, going swimming or watching films at the cinema. He's had a lot of problems with his family and has been a victim of bullying at school. He doesn't go out a lot and doesn't have many friends, so I'm hoping that the time we spend together gives him a bit more confidence and helps him to get to know a few more people."
Rebecca, aged 24 from Leighton Buzzard, is a part-time mentor on CSV's Bedfordshire Mentors and Peers project. She volunteers with an 11 year-old boy who has been in trouble with the police and has been disruptive at school.
"When we meet up, I'm able to focus on him one-on-one, which I think he really likes. I talk to him about his future and explain that he needs to work hard at school if he wants to achieve his ambition to be a mechanic. Sometimes I have to be a bit strict with him, and if he gets in trouble at school then I have to tell him that it means that we can't go to the cinema. It's important for him to understand the consequences of his actions.
"Sometimes it's hard to hear about his family life, and you just want to take him away from everything. His parents have split up, his Dad seems more interested in drinking than his family, and his Mum doesn't give him the attention he needs. I think the time we spend together is important to him. We get on very well and have a laugh together."
I want to mentor – what do I do now?
Firstly, find out if there are any opportunities in your area. Once you apply, be prepared to undergo a thorough vetting process, which includes a Criminal Record Bureau disclosure. Afterwards, you'll attend an introductory training programme and the organisation will match you with a mentee.
For more information about mentoring with CSV, call free on 0800 374991.
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